As discussed in Part 2, the ego’s ultimate aim is self-actualization: a complete integration of the psyche’s fragmented aspects, resulting in individuation, acceptance of the human condition, and hard-earned experiential wisdom. But self-actualization can only take us so far. By its very nature, the ego will always remain in pursuit of happiness, inching ever-nearer towards the longed-for inner peace, yet incapable of delivering. As a result, suffering becomes a permanent, unwelcome companion on the ego’s doomed journey.

So, if you’re reading this now, then ask yourself: Has the ego served its purpose? Are you ready to wake up from the illusion of separateness and remember what you really are? Are you weary of living under the false and oppressive belief that you are a limited mortal creature bound to the earth and destined to return to dust? Most importantly, have you finally suffered enough? If the answer is yes, then here’s what I’d like you to know…

Step 1: Identify Core Egoic Narratives

Based on my experience, I’ve determined that the ego is slippery and elusive, constantly assimilating to new situations and shapeshifting to avoid detection. It’s like an organic computer software with dualistic belief systems instead of binary coding, or an octopus whose tentacles reach into every corner of the psyche, or a many-headed hydra that always seems to regenerate no matter how many heads are severed. In fact, the ego is not even a thing, it’s a process, which is why it can be so difficult to grasp. It’s not a separate entity, but a collection of ever-shifting energies that assemble into a seemingly individualized identity.

At its core, the ego is nothing more than a vibratory current in the spine and brain. It’s a compacted conglomeration of false core narratives that usurps the consciousness and co-opts the mental and emotional processes of the physical organism, filtering all experiences through a narrow, opaque, belief-occluded veil. It corrupts thoughts, distorts feelings, and warps perception by tying every life event back to its centralized false narratives, further solidifying its presence. These narratives, or limiting core beliefs, can vary widely from person to person depending on one’s past experiences, but at bottom, they always take the formula of ‘I am (fill in the blank).’

There are negative core beliefs: I am bad, I am a failure, I am unlovable, I am incompetent, I am unworthy, I am damaged, I am stupid, I am inadequate, I am weak, I am unsafe, I am not ok, I am powerless, I am inferior, and many more. These types of beliefs cause much suffering.

There are positive core beliefs: I am good, I am a success, I am lovable, I am competent, I am worthy, I am perfect, I am smart, I am adequate, I am strong, I am safe, I am ok, I am in control, I am superior, and many more. These types of beliefs cause less suffering.

There are neutral core beliefs: I am my gender, I am my race, I am my nationality, I am my sexual orientation, I am my political affiliation, I am spiritual/religious, I am my family roles, I am my profession, I am my possessions, I am my net worth, I am unique, I am separate, I am human, I am my body/mind, I am the doer, I am an ego, and many more. These types of beliefs cause the least suffering in the short-run but the greatest suffering in the long-run because they are the most fundamental and deep-seated narratives in the egoic core, and therefore the hardest to disavow.

As you can see, there are different types of egoic beliefs. Yet regardless of their flavor, they all lead to suffering because they are all ultimately false. Each one of them is rooted in an impermanence, a mental construct that will eventually fade. In essence, these beliefs only amount to ‘I am something,’ which is untrue, for the only verifiable statement is ‘I am.’ Here, the ‘I am’ is not a belief, but an assertion of truth, a declaration of our irrefutable awareness-existence.

Step 2: Peel the Egoic Onion

Being able to identify our own limiting egoic core narratives may help orient us to understanding and action, but it ultimately won’t aid in our liberation from ego-identity because these entrenched core beliefs, whatever they may be, are generally covered over by two other layers of our personal experience: subconscious feelings and defense mechanisms. The self-aggrandizing ego resides like a nucleus at the center of these two layers, directing the flow of information and obscuring its own process from awareness. Like an onion, if we peel away the defenses (by noticing and dismantling them), then we find the subconscious feelings. And if we peel off the unprocessed feelings (by noticing and accepting them), then we find the hardened wall of ego-identity, propped up by countless narratives organized around the basic ‘I am something’ principle. Strip away this final egoic stronghold (by identifying and disproving them), and we enter into the central chamber of the soul. There we find the holy of holies, the pure unbounded beingness that is the true nature of all things.

Step 3: Complete the Circle

When we finally break through to the center, we see that the center is everywhere. As Yogananda eloquently affirmed, “Spiritual sight, x-raylike, penetrates into all matter; the divine eye is center everywhere, circumference nowhere.” Through this divine sight, we come to know that our primal essence is pure awareness, and that awareness is all there is. We’re graced with the goal of life, Self-realization, completing the incredible circuitous adventure we forgot we started long ago. Only this time around, we’re not unaware awareness as we were in the very beginning. Rather, we are aware awareness experiencing ourselves in and as all forms. At this point, we realize that we needed to go through all of these countless experiences in order to get here, for each moment was an exercise in our expansion of consciousness! We couldn’t have known it otherwise! Everything was worth it! How awe-inspiring!

Importantly, the appearance of form remains intact, as does the ego in a thin and impersonal sense; it continues to be a useful, pellucid interface for navigating life. The difference is that we now see through the illusion of ego (called maya in eastern spiritual traditions) instead of identifying with it. The soul no longer assumes itself to be a collection of beliefs covered up by feelings and defenses – and therefore ceases to delude itself into thinking that it is a separate body-heart-mind. The One now sees both the One and the many, all while knowing that the One is absolute truth and the many is only relative truth, a derivative of the One. The human organism continues to function in nearly the same way, steadily evolving over time, yet our consciousness is now anchored in the knowing that our true nature is infinite, eternal, formless, limitless, and incorruptible spirit. What a miracle!

∞

Resources for Further Reading

• God Speaks: The Theme of Creation and Its Purpose by Meher Baba
• Discourses by Meher Baba
• God Talks with Arjuna, The Bhagavad Gita: The Royal Science of God-Realization by Paramahansa Yogananda
• Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu, Translated by Stephen Mitchell or Ralph Alan Dale
• Childhood and Society by Erik H. Erikson
• The Psychology of the Child by Jean Piaget & Barbel Inhelder
• Motivation and Personality by Abraham H. Maslow
• The Philosophy of Moral Development by Lawrence Kohlberg
• The Stages of Life by C. G. Jung
• Two Essays in Analytical Psychology by C. G. Jung
• The Shift: Taking Your Life from Ambition to Meaning by Wayne Dyer
• Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
• The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell