The following is a list of the 30 most common defensive strategies people use, but it’s not exhaustive by any means. Remember, they’re not necessarily harmful, and neither can all of them be considered defenses in every situation. Each defense is listed with its definition and a few random examples, but I’m sure you’ll be able to think of more on your own. I compiled this list with the help of one of my favorite books, Psychoanalytic Diagnosis by Nancy McWilliams. Since it’s nearly impossible to verify another person’s subjective internal experience, it’s difficult and also futile to try identifying defenses in others; it’s more pragmatic to discover one’s own. So, as you read below, which defenses do you recognize in yourself, and what do you sense is hiding underneath?
Acting Out: Discharging feelings through physical behaviors. Examples: Breaking or throwing things to express anger. Shoplifting to reduce tension. Vandalizing with graffiti to resist societal pressure. Having a temper tantrum in response to scolding. Emotional eating.
Compartmentalization: Holding two or more conflicting ideas without issue; mature version of dissociation. Examples: Espousing open communication while defending not speaking to someone. Preaching against prejudice but savoring ethnic jokes. Violently advocating for peace. Hypocrisy.
Compensation: Overachieving in certain areas to make up for perceived failures in other areas. Examples: A student offsets their poor speaking skills by excelling in writing. A handicapped person becomes a people-pleaser. A man counterbalances his struggles with sexual intimacy by developing emotional maturity. A woman gets plastic surgery to compensate for her social ineptitude.
Control: Manipulating reality for a false sense of power or security. Examples: A psychopath committing crimes to feel powerful. A helpless mother force-feeding a child. A grounded teenager restricting food intake. Obsessive-compulsive rituals.
Denial: Refusing to acknowledge or accept reality. Examples: Avoiding medical exams to ignore potential results. Pretending that an abusive partner isn’t dangerous. An alcoholic claiming they don’t have a drinking problem.
Displacement: Redirecting a drive, emotion, or behavior from its intended object to a less anxiety-producing object. Examples: A man reprimanded by his boss goes home and kicks his dog. A couple blames their failing marriage on their couples therapist. A wife directs her anger toward the other woman instead of her unfaithful husband. Scapegoating.
Dissociation: Disconnecting from reality through a sense of detachment from the body and mind. Examples: Having an out-of-body experience during war. Spacing out during a stressful test. Feeling numb during sex. Being in shock after a car accident. Having multiple distinct personalities.
Humor: Employing humor to avoid pain; subtype of sublimation. Examples: Being funny at a funeral. The inability to stop making jokes during a sincere conversation. Self-deprecating comedy. Gallows humor.
Idealization & Devaluation: Believing that oneself or others are better or worse than they really are; these two always appear together. Examples: Believing that the government is incapable of error and that the common folk cannot be trusted, or vice versa. Putting a lover on a pedestal above you, or vice versa. Feeling like a sinner around angels. Feeling like an angel around sinners. Having a superiority or inferiority complex.
Identification: Fusing with another person, community, or idea to avoid discomfort. Examples: A man behaves like the father that he feared. A troubled teen finds icons to emulate. A grieving partner feels they have become the one who died. Switching genders to feel a stronger sense of identity. A lonely soul joins a religious community to feel a sense of belonging.
Intellectualization: Escaping from feelings into the intellect; mature version of isolation of affect. Examples: A man expresses his anger in a detached tone. A woman describes her life experiences like a weather report. A client shares a thought when asked about a feeling.
Introjection: Misunderstanding what is outside as coming from inside; opposite of projection. Examples: A mother experiencing back pain after her daughter’s injury. Turning a caregiver’s voice into one’s own conscience. Feeling responsible for another person’s actions. Feeling guilty for causing a natural disaster.
Isolation of Affect: Cutting off the feeling or meaning connected to an idea or experience; subtype of dissociation. Examples: A Holocaust survivor describes Nazi atrocities with wooden aloofness. A police officer investigates a violent crime with stoic numbness. Spock from Star Trek.
Moralization: Justifying moral obligation for an unpleasant experience or decision; mature version of splitting. Examples: Imperialists insisting that they were raising the standard of civilization for those they disenfranchised. Hitler justifying his murderous fantasies as a necessary improvement for the human race. A supervisor stating it is her duty to criticize her employees.
Projection: Misunderstanding what is inside as coming from outside; opposite of introjection. Examples: Falsely perceiving that others feel the same way you do. A tired mother tells her children they are tired. Blaming one’s actions on another person. An abusive father telling his child, “You made me do it.” Believing that your new partner is acting just like your ex.
Projective Identification: Internalizing what has been externalized by others; introjecting what has been projected. Examples: A patient treats a doctor like an all-knowing being and the doctor begins to feel and act as one. A minority group starts to act in a way that matches a stereotype. An innocent person accused of criminality becomes a criminal.
Rationalization: Reasoning through an unpleasant experience or decision. Examples: A couple who didn’t get the house they wanted saying, “It was too big for us anyway.” A trauma is explained away as a learning experience. A parent hits their child and thinks it is for their child’s own good.
Reaction Formation: Changing a feeling or attitude into its polar opposite to render it less threatening. Examples: Feeling jealousy toward someone you admire. Befriending a competitor. Resenting someone you’re grateful for. Hating someone you love, or loving someone you hate. Stockholm syndrome.
Regression: Sliding back into habits from a previous level of maturity or development. Examples: A hungry adult throwing a temper tantrum. A tired person beginning to whine. An improved patient reverting to old ways. An employee speaking like a helpless baby after being chastised.
Repression: Forgetting, ignoring, suppressing, or turning reality away from consciousness. Examples: A person is unable to recall being tortured. An adult has problems remembering their difficult childhood. An individual experiences tension due to bottling up their instinctual urges and drives.
Reversal: Switching roles or positions from subject to object or object to subject. Examples: The yearning to be nurtured is satisfied by nurturing another person. Dependency is masked by creating dependency in others. A hazed fraternity member hazes the younger members. A patient acts like the expert. Gaslighting.
Sexualization: Hiding or altering feelings through sexual activity; subtype of acting out. Examples: Having sex to mask the feeling of inner dread. Masturbating to reduce anxiety. Acting out traumatic sexual experiences to cope with the trauma. Collecting sexual partners to cover up loneliness.
Somatization: Expressing feelings as physical symptoms. Examples: Fear turning into a fight-flight-freeze response. Anger becoming inflammation. Getting a stomach ache after an argument. Illness due to stress.
Spiritual Bypassing: Using spiritual or religious concepts, ideas, or practices to avoid facing reality. Examples: Meditating to dissociate from life or suppress daily stress. Thinking “everything happens for a reason” to reduce heartache. Citing karma, reincarnation, or nonattachment as an excuse for not doing one’s best. Professing unity and colorblindness while acting racist. Focusing on the positive at the expense of the negative.
Splitting: Dividing a gray reality into distinct black and white categories. Examples: Believing that one political party is all good and the other is all bad, or that one religion is totally right and the others are totally wrong. Feeling that people are either friends or enemies. Good versus evil. All-or-nothing thinking.
Sublimation: Converting drives and energies into more acceptable forms. Examples: A surgeon transforms his sadistic desires into a productive profession. An artist channels her sexual urges into creative pursuits. A minister transmutes sinful tendencies into prayer and spiritual practice.
Turning Against the Self: Redirecting a negative feeling or attitude from an external object toward the self; mature version of introjection. Examples: Criticism of an authority figure is aimed inward. Blaming yourself for a problem outside of your control. A child thinking that his parents’ divorce is his fault. A parent believing that their child would not have committed suicide if they had been a better parent. The inner critic.
Undoing: Counterbalancing a feeling with an attitude or behavior to erase it; mature version of control. Examples: A spouse brings home a gift after last night’s outburst. A philanthropist is motivated by guilt and shame. Religious rituals geared toward atonement of sins.
Withdrawal: Retreating from reality into: other states of consciousness, fantasy, physical isolation, or chemical substances. Examples: An inordinate amount of falling asleep or napping. Inducing trances to avoid life’s challenges. Daydreaming or getting lost in thought. Playing video games. Avoiding social situations. Evading phobias. Taking drugs or drinking alcohol.
…continued in Part 3…